So I've never used our blog as an avenue to vent my frustration and confusion before, but I can't help it tonight. I need a place to write down how I feel and try to deal with it. We've had a rough couple of years with Chris's ex-wife and the situation with his daughter. Two years ago Felicity (Chris's daughter) started asking questions about why her last name is different than her Mom's and sister...she then started asking if she could change her name. So after alot of pain, prayer and love, Chris finally decided to allow Felicity's step-dad to adopt her. In the midst of the legal process, Chris and his ex-wife came to a VERBAL agreement that she would send pictures and an update every so often and keep Chris in the loop. Well the big mistake in that last phrase was that I said a "VERBAL AGREEMENT." Chris has kept his end of the agreement, both Legally AND verbally and has not received any of the agreed upon items from his ex...big surprise. So, respectfully Chris sent his ex an email asking for permission to call Felicity on her birthday. (Something that had been previously agreed upon) So two weeks AFTER Felicity's birthday (tonight) his ex called to fight. She surprisingly forgot about anything they agreed on previously and can't possibly understand why Chris wants any part of Felicitys life now. I CANNOT process the things he is feeling right now or understand his pain, but I know how I am feeling, and I am NOT her parent. I am so frustrated that another member of the human race can be so callous and heartless. He is her FATHER!!! He loved her so much that he gave her what she asked for. The only thing that runs through my head right now is kind of cheesy in relation to this subject, but all I can think about is John 3:16..."For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." I try so hard to have faith and be strong for him, but as a Mother, I am so torn and confused! I want to make things better, that's my nature. And I've never been in a situation that there isn't ANYTHING I can do to help before. This isn't some small trivial trial, this is a child. I know that someday he will have a chance to answer Felicity's questions about why he did the things he did. And I truly believe there will be a day that she wants to know her Father. I believe she will see his love for her NEVER waivered, but grew stronger everyday. I have to believe th
at she will KNOW without a doubt that there isn't a day that goes by that she isn't in his thoughts and prayers. I've seen that for myself. I'm just having a hard time grasping the here and now. I know that Chris sees alot of Felicity i
n Taylor...even I can see that. I'm having a hard time understanding how he does it everyday. I am so proud of him and the Man and Father he is to our children. I am proud and impressed with his faith and ability to cope with what is dealt to him. I love him and at the same time I hurt with him. I only hope that I can be the wife and partner he needs to keep him sane and together during these emotionally draining trials. So that's my rant for the night. Phew. I almost feel better. :-)
I have been really slacking on our blog lately! So I'm going to try to catch up!!
My cute niece Jessica came and spent the weekend with us and treated us to a date night (yeah!) and Taylor to a makeover. She curled Tay's hair, put makeup and glitter on her, painted her nails and picked out some super cute clothes and then did a "photo shoot!" It was sooooo cute! Thanks Sica for our date night and pampering Taylor!
Chris and I have been bitten by Spring Cleaning Fever and have completely turned our house upside down! We cleaned and organized the garage this last weekend, and lo and behold we realized that it's a TWO car garage!!! :-) We actually have BOTH cars parked in there! Yeah! I've even started going through the kids's clothes and pulling out stuff that doesn't fit them anymore and organizing them. My next project is going through all their toys and thinning them out! Shh. Don't tell them that though!
So next was St. Patrick's Day...I got this great idea to do something silly for the kids. I made green eggs for breakfast! It was one of those things that SOUNDED like a good idea until it came time to eat. They looked really unappetizing! The kids didn't seem to mind so much, but Chris and I had to look away while we ate!! Maybe next year I'll stick to green milk or something like that!
Thanks to some really great circumstances we were able to go on an awesome vacation this last week! We packed up and left home on Thursday, drove to Vegas and spent the night. We got up the next morning and drove into the Anaheim area, got settled into our hotel and went "sight seeing." I know, it's a little cheesy and out of character for me to go be "touristy", but we drove through Hollywood and Beverly Hills just kind of exploring California. I have never been so grateful to live in a relatively small city before now, but California sucks and is confusing! The next day we took the kids to the beach for the first time and had a GREAT time. I was so glad that the kids loved it as much as we did because we really didn't want to leave! After four hours of playing on the beach and walking down the pier, I started to realize what the nagging feeling that I'd forgot something was...I put sunscreen on the kids, but never put it on myself. Duh!? I've been sunburned before, but this was a totally different experience. It's five days later and it still hurts and doesn't look any better. Ummm, OUCH. We rushed to the drugstore looking for something to help and got lucky with an aloe gel with lidocaine. THANK HEAVEN! Especially since the next day we surprised the kids by taking them to Disneyland and that was a little painful..needless to say I stuck to the shade as much as possible and this time I DIDN'T forget the sunscreen! It was so much fun to see the kids eyes get wider and wider as we were entering the park! They both remember the first time we came two years ago and had a great memory to go from. We got to the park just before it opened at 8 a.m. and stayed until they kicked us out...at 12:30 a.m.!! Oh my goodness! We were all like zombies by the time we got to the car. I don't think I've ever been so tired in all my life. The next morning we woke up aching from head to toe...literally. We all had blisters on our feet, Danny especially. Poor little guy would cry every time he tried to walk. But it was TOTALLY worth it! We had such a great time and we look forward to when we can do it again!! Yeah for vacations!! But I totally think that vacations should last longer than the time it takes to save up for one...what do you think?
at she will KNOW without a doubt that there isn't a day that goes by that she isn't in his thoughts and prayers. I've seen that for myself. I'm just having a hard time grasping the here and now. I know that Chris sees alot of Felicity i
n Taylor...even I can see that. I'm having a hard time understanding how he does it everyday. I am so proud of him and the Man and Father he is to our children. I am proud and impressed with his faith and ability to cope with what is dealt to him. I love him and at the same time I hurt with him. I only hope that I can be the wife and partner he needs to keep him sane and together during these emotionally draining trials. So that's my rant for the night. Phew. I almost feel better. :-)
